Do you want to win too often?
The World Cup is not the only place where people want to win. People in management also want to win - sometimes perhaps too often. In a new Success Impulse, Volkmar Völzke shows how leaders can better put their ego aside.
Even if it sounds surprising: we often get in our own way because we want to win too much. And even worse: we frustrate others with it. This is especially significant if you are a leader. How is this to be understood? Well, there's a delicate line between wanting to win for the sake of it (because it really does get us better results) and wanting to win for the sake of our own ego.
Winning because of ego?
We all have a more or less pronounced ego - no exception. In most cases, this is positive because it is reflected in healthy self-confidence and also helps us to assert important interests. Only: the ego also leads us to want to win on issues that are actually unimportant. Sometimes there is no other reason to stand up for ourselves than to satisfy our ego.
Remember the last argument you had: to what extent was it really about the matter at hand and to what extent about our own ego, which we saw hurt? In conflicts, the ego almost always plays the greater role than the matter at hand. It follows: You can become a significantly better leader and can achieve significantly more if you stop wanting to win too much - in other words, if you put your ego aside.
Three steps to less ego
Here are 3 steps on how to reset your ego and become a more influential leader as a result (it's not always easy):
- Step1: Clarity about your priorities. In order for you to decide if the outcome is worth fighting for, you must first know your priorities. Most leaders have far too many "priorities." As a result, you want to get your way on issues that just aren't among your top priorities. Tip: Have a maximum of three priorities at the same time.
- Step 2: How important is the point of contention really? After Step 1, you can now examine each discussion: Is this one of my top priorities? If not, then stop pushing your point of view. You certainly know situations in which you were emotionally strongly involved, but the next day wondered why it was so important to you. That's when your ego spoke. If, on the other hand, you ask yourself in every discussion whether it really contributes to achieving your goals, you can often save your energy.
- Step 3: Give in on unimportant things. After steps 1 and 2, you can now give in on any discussion that doesn't contribute to achieving your top goals. Initially, this requires concentrated practice. This is because we all too quickly get into situations where our ego wants to get the upper hand. So when you catch yourself in an emotional discussion, take a deep breath, ask yourself the question from Step 2, and end your engagement if necessary.
The consequence of the three steps:
You will save energy enormously, you will have a positive influence on others, you will be more focused on what is really important and you will have more joy as a result.
