"Good manners have a high value today".
Etiquetteer was yesterday? Far from it. In today's society, and especially on the job, appropriate manners are once again very important. "Good manners are a sign of appreciation," says trainer Susanne Beckmann. She says this is not about dusty rules, but about recommendations for appropriate appearance and the effect on other people. An interview.
"Today, the name Knigge is synonymous with everything related to manners, behavior and style. - And it has regained a high status today, especially in business, because the need and the necessity of our values for positive interaction are recognized and desired by a great many people."
Ms. Beckmann, Knigge has been dead for a long time. Why do we still talk about him today?
Susanne Beckmann: What Adolph Freiherr Knigge wrote well over 230 years ago was not a set of rules for how to hold your wine glass properly or how to fillet the fish on your plate. His goal was to help people from different classes and different backgrounds to live together in a respectful manner. Today, the name Knigge is synonymous with everything related to manners, behavior and style. - And today this has regained a high value, especially in business life, because the need and the necessity of our values for a positive coexistence are recognized and desired by very many people.
What do good manners look like from your point of view?
I would like to illustrate this with a small example: Today, you often see employees during a meeting who spend a long time on their cell phones. On the one hand, I see this as disrespectful behavior towards the person leading the meeting, and on the other hand, the meeting is unnecessarily prolonged due to lack of concentration. This example can be applied to many other areas. It starts with appropriate dress and appearance, continues with attention and appreciation, and ends with appropriate table manners and behavior at business dinners.
How do you differentiate how you deal with different people and professional groups?
Not really, because I think it's natural to show respect for everyone. That applies to the cleaning service or the production employee just as much as it does to the Chairman of the Board of Management. All people, with their abilities and personalities, are important in companies and, of course, in our society. Therefore, one should adapt to different professional groups, situations and occasions in terms of content, language and appearance. To this end, one can develop one's own style within certain limits and rules. The important thing here is to be authentic with appreciative behavior instead of appearing put upon. I see our social rules as something like guard rails within which everyone can go their own way.
Is the "span" of these guardrails changing?
In any case, there are always changes. In the past, we have experienced times when attempts were made to completely remove these guard rails. In the meantime, the trend is moving in the other direction again: Good manners are once again highly valued, even in business.
Where does this change come from and what does it mean for companies?
We live in a time when products and services are often interchangeable. The only difference is made by the person and his or her effect on the business partner or customer. Those who can convince here with attention, style and appreciation will be successful. In addition, respectful interaction within the company creates a motivating corporate culture, which then also achieves a positive image externally. For these reasons, company leaders attach great importance to the appropriate behavior of their employees - from learners to managers. Many bosses are now going out to lunch with job applicants again to experience their manners. This shows how necessary a confident demeanor is in this area, because it can be decisive in awarding jobs when qualifications are equal.
Where are the most common mistakes made?
Well, I don't necessarily call it a mistake, because it's about developing a flair for certain situations and occasions. If you know the most important rules of modern manners, you can consciously decide for or against them and then, however, you also have to bear any consequences. Certainly, there is a certain trend towards casualness in clothing, which contradicts style and etiquette here and there. Table manners also do not always meet expectations. In communication, attention, i.e., classic listening, is often lacking. It's often just little things that bother the other person, but are decisive for sympathy or rejection.
Can you learn good manners?
Good manners, or at least a sense of appropriate manners, are definitely a matter of the parental home. Where this does not happen or no longer happens in the family or even at school, there is a need for seminars and training sessions in which people learn how to deal with each other confidently and respectfully in the relevant situations. The feedback I get at my events shows me that the topic moves many people and that there is a lot of uncertainty. I would like to transform these insecurities into confident and sympathetic behavior. What I want to convey is that it's not about memorizing individual rules or patterns of behavior, but rather getting a sense of what behavior is appropriate in a given situation. Good style has less to do with rules than with sensitivity for other people.
Susanne Beckmann is a business etiquette trainer and gives seminars in companies across all hierarchical levels on modern business etiquette. She has summarized tips and information specifically for young professionals in her book "#Benehmen" (ISBN 978-3-00-053228-3). www.susanne-beckmann.de
The upcoming print issue of ORGANISATOR will also feature an article by Swiss etiquette expert Susanne Abplanalp on office etiquette.
