Resolutions: Everything will be different in 2018 - really?
At the beginning of the year, many people make good resolutions. For example: In 2018, I will spend more time with my family. In 2018, I'll go jogging regularly. But a short time later, the resolutions are forgotten. Because they are not anchored in a vision of life.
Do I move to Zurich because I want to pursue a career, or are my friends more important to me? Do I save 200 francs a month for my old age or do I fly to the Maldives? Do I want to have children with my partner or is my independence more important to me? We are increasingly faced with questions like these in our lives, where we have to make a decision. Because it's an illusion to assume that everything is possible at the same time.
Resolutions are quickly forgotten...
Many people find it difficult to make a decision. Because: When we decide on something, we have to discard other possibilities. We can only do that if we know what is important to us. Otherwise, we make many resolutions, but a few days later they are forgotten. Because our resolutions are not anchored in a vision of life.
What's more, what's really important in our lives is never urgent. For example, it is never urgent to go jogging. But it would be good for our health. And it is never urgent to take time for a conversation with our partner. But it would be important for the relationship.
Because the really important things are never urgent, we often put them off. Or we harbor the illusion that if I get everything done faster, I'll have time for it. The only consequence: we lead a life at high speed. And at some point we realize with resignation: Now I lead an (even) fuller life, but not a fulfilled life.
Challenge: Maintaining balance in life
Such an imbalance is not an individual fate. More and more people are plagued by the feeling: "My life is not on track. One reason for this is that most people have a clear perspective on their professional career. The situation is different in the areas of "meaning/culture," "body/health" and "family/relationship. Here, we often lack clear goals.
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we often overlook the fact that the four areas of life are interrelated. That's why, for example, anyone who overemphasizes the area of "work/career" over the long term will lose not only their zest for life, but also their performance in the long run. Because:
- Those who are ill cannot enjoy their lives to the fullest, nor are they full of energy.
- Those who are lonely are neither "squeaky-clean," nor can they devote their full energy to their jobs.
- Anyone who is in a crisis of purpose is neither full of life nor very capable. Because behind everything you do is the question: What's the point?
In order for us to live a fulfilled life, we must therefore ensure the right balance between the four areas of life. For this we need a vision of our future life. We also need this because today many demands are placed on us that can only be reconciled to a limited extent. Almost all working mothers will immediately confirm this. In most highly qualified jobs, irregular working hours are normal. For working mothers, this means: They can no longer leave the office every day at 4 p.m. sharp, for example. So what are they supposed to do when the kindergarten closes at 4 p.m.? Another example: Many corporate sales employees are finding it increasingly difficult to keep regular private appointments. Because time and again, a customer appointment takes longer than planned. So conflicts of interest are inevitable.
Challenge: managing your own life
This results in another challenge: We have to become managers of our own lives, so to speak - in other words, people who, through their actions today, ensure that they continue to lead happy and fulfilling lives in the future. The first step towards this is to develop a vision of our future life. Therefore, sit down on New Year's morning, for example, and ask yourself in relation to the four areas of life:
- What is really important to me?
- In what does a fulfilled life show itself for me? And:
- What should I do today to live a happy life in the future?
In addition, ask yourself (regularly): Are there signs in my living environment that the balance in my life could be threatened in the future? Such warning signals can be:
- Silence increasingly reigns between you and your life partner. Even important friends no longer contact you.
- In your company, the top maxim is suddenly "save money".
- You ask yourself more and more often: What's the point of all this?
- You feel a twinge in your heart area from time to time.
Once you have answered these questions for yourself, you can make concrete resolutions and draw up a plan of action to realize them. And you can do this without running the risk of forgetting your resolutions as soon as the New Year's Eve rockets have burned up. Because your resolutions are now anchored in a vision of your future life.
About the author: Business psychologist Sabine Prohaska is the owner of the training and consulting company seminar consult prohaska, Vienna (Internet: www.seminarconsult.at). Among other things, she is the author of the book "Solution-oriented self-coaching: Getting closer to your goals - step by step".
