Being in balance: How does it really work?

Just a few years ago, life balance was often associated with part-time work and the compatibility of family and career, but today we know that there are many more facets that influence life balance: The psychological balance, which is not determined by the time factor alone, but also by the content of the work, the balance between stress and relief, hunger for success and performance, achievement and recovery, income and lifestyle, and the balance between constant accessibility and time for oneself.

Finding balance means recognizing one's own needs and standing up for them. Here lies the first challenge in finding life balance: many believe they know what is important and valuable to them and what their needs are. And yet they are not in balance.

First challenge: inner agreement as a guide

What is important is what seems valuable to me and to which I can give my full inner approval. Inner approval is a clear and strong feeling of being able to say "yes" to what I am currently doing or experiencing. This brings us to the feeling level. Something can seem very important to me, but if the inner approval is missing, the question of the meaning threatens very quickly and with it the search for the motivation, for the power that moves me.

But what if I think I feel the inner agreement and yet I am not in balance? Then it's probably a "Yes, but ...", that is, a limited inner agreement: "Yes, it's important to me, but I don't have the time, the energy." "Yes, it is important to me, but right now something else has priority." Such situations challenge us. They catapult us into a field of tension in which we feel the pressure of having to decide for one thing and thus against something else.

Second challenge: enduring ambiguity

If we find ourselves in such a field of tension, we tend to think either/or. In order to feel the power that contains the right answer for me, I have to stay in the field of tension and thus develop a tolerance towards ambiguity. We almost can't stand this persistence, so we want to decide. Ambiguity tolerance is the ability to tolerate ambiguous or contradictory situations and calls us to both/and thinking, i.e., to integrate multi-layered information. People with the ability to relate different pieces of information are better able to wait until the appropriate solution presents itself.

Third challenge: the integration of facts and feelings

When making decisions, we often have the claim that we have to find the right solution. After all, we have to be able to justify the decision to ourselves and others. This demand builds up enormous pressure. Let's assume that we would actually stand in front of such a signpost in the middle of the jungle without a road map, then it should be clear to everyone that the decision cannot be an exclusively imaginary one, because we can pay attention to facts such as the position and course of the sun, but nevertheless have too little information to find the answer by thinking alone. The question is therefore: Where am I drawn to? In this emergency situation it is vital that I hold out, open myself to new impulses and reflect until the appropriate solution appears. It only appears when we link facts, feelings and the unconscious in a new way until clarity emerges. Action that springs from such a creative process connects head and heart. This is called courageous.

Now it can be that I perceive the inner feeling and know where it pulls me, I do not dare to go this way. The fear of disappointing someone, the fear of not meeting the expectations of others. A healthy self-awareness (being aware of yourself) makes it a little easier. Maybe also the following questions: who should decide about my life, myself or possibly others? Who should be the main shareholder of my "I-corporation"?

Of course, we can evade the question "where am I going" by simply running off fact-oriented or by stopping too long in front of the signpost out of sheer fear of making the wrong decision. In both cases we get into an imbalance, namely where we try to control our life exclusively thinking or where we let ourselves be controlled by our fear.

Existential psychology defines responsibility in such a way that life asks us questions. If we take care of the questions and look for our personal answer to them, we take on responsibility and thus make our contribution to life balance. Whether we perceive areas of tension or not is our own responsibility and not that of our superiors, colleagues or the company.

What can a company contribute?

Nevertheless, the question naturally arises as to what extent the company bears a responsibility in achieving and maintaining the life balance of its employees. Every company must ask itself this question. A commitment can be worthwhile from a personnel policy or socially influenced consideration and from an economic point of view: the more balanced the employees, the more productive they are.

Companies can exert influence in different ways in different areas. Basically, the same thing always applies: It is easier for individuals to find a balance if they are given freedom, a say and facilitation. If attention is paid to health and employees can pursue a meaningful task in a functioning team according to their abilities and experience recognition and appreciation in the process.

SwissRe for example, supports its employees in many areas, including the care of elderly relatives. The Ergon Informatik AG allows its employees to vote on important decisions. If the majority of the workforce is against it, the planned venture is abandoned. Other companies organize the "dog walker" for dog-loving employees or prepare lunch as well as dinner in the canteen, provide childcare in company crèches or give employees and teams the opportunity to determine their own projects in whole or in part.

Conversations help to eliminate areas of tension

If we think about the three challenges described above, we see that the greatest challenges of life balance lie in finding inner agreement, in skillfully dealing with areas of tension, and in integrating head and heart. Clarifying these issues is a challenging task that cannot always be accomplished alone. Exchange and reflection with an independent person in a protected space are very valuable. Many companies have recognized this and offer help through external coaches. Companies such as Migros Genossenschaft Zürich, UBS and other smaller companies go one step further and offer executives membership in Spot Coaching the sparring partner for professional questions. A conversation with a professional coach can be booked online at very short notice and without complications. The 60-minute, location-independent conversation takes place via telephone or Skype and can be anonymous if desired. A conversation helps to efficiently link facts, feelings and the unconscious and thus to find the way out of a field of tension more quickly. This offer can promote life balance.

Spot Coaching AG http://www.spotcoaching.ch/

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