O du Fröhliche - ten ultimate small talk tips for the Christmas aperitif
Small talk is back in high season during the Christmas aperitif season. Spontaneously broaching a few topics without going off the rails is not everyone's strong point. Neither is approaching strangers. Yet valuable conversations and good friendships sometimes arise from a simple chat.
Especially now, when Christmas aperitifs are springing up like mushrooms, a little help with small talk is a great idea. welcome gift. With these 10 small talk tips, you're guaranteed not to spend the aperitif alone in a corner and have fun chatting and networking with strangers.
Tip 1: Daily news
Read the news on the day of the meeting and decide which topics are suitable for small talk. Politics and disasters are known to be no-goes. But you can switch from a negative headline to a lighter topic. Headline 1: Volcanic eruption in Iceland. This event can be linked to the question of whether the person has already been to Iceland and what they particularly liked there? And that brings us to travel, which is a good topic anyway. Headline 2: Son finds his mother after 35 years. For years, he shopped in the bakery that his mother ran. But he didn't know it was his mother. He found out through a genealogist he hired. This is a nice feel-good topic that is ideally suited as a theme.
Tip 2: In-depth questions
People tend to respond with "interesting" or "exciting", but this is often taken as the exact opposite. If you say "exciting", always ask a follow-up question. "How exactly did it happen?" - "How did it make you feel?" And please don't immediately turn the conversation to yourself to say that something similar has already happened to you.
Tip 3: Remember
If you have met the person before, remember the last conversation. Ideally, you will even have taken notes after the meeting. There is no greater appreciation than remembering what a person has said. Few people, e.g. sales people, do this professionally because they know they can score points this way. Why not also remember things privately and then ask about the follow-up to what was said the next time you meet? Get in touch at the right time if you know that your colleague is due to have an eye operation on 19.12.2024 and pass on your good wishes.
Tip 4: Entertain with stories
What were my highlights of the week? What positive, funny or interesting conversations could you entertain your counterpart with? Of course with the counter question "What nice things did you experience at the weekend"? If this story leads to conversation, information or laughter, small talk may soon become smart talk.
Tip 5: Similarities
"People like each other tend to like each other" means that similar people or people with things in common automatically like each other better. You should therefore not move too much on the surface, but go deeper and find out what you have in common. It is a good idea to choose a mixture of interest in the other person and your own stories. Always asking questions seems strained.
Tip 6: Ask for an opinion
Market analyses have shown that young people in particular really appreciate it when we ask them for their opinion. "The following happened to me and I wasn't sure how to react, what would you have done in this situation?" - "Do you think it's right that ...?". Here we are no longer quite in small talk, but rather in deep talk. We are afraid of asking questions that are too direct, but it is precisely these that create tension.
Tip 7: Give, give, give
You should feel better after the small talk than before it. This applies to everyone involved. Give first and then take - is a good principle. During small talk, you give attention, a good feeling, appreciation, entertainment or information. If you are only interested in your own benefit, you will quickly be seen through. People want to give something back if they can do so voluntarily.
Tip 8: Hand out compliments
"I'm always happy when I see you! You radiate so much positivity." - "I can always rely on you, you always arrive on time. That helps me a lot." Such praise makes everyone happy. However, it should come from the heart. If you can't think of any praise, at least show your pleasure at the encounter.
Tip 9: Positive body language
If your inner attitude is "I'm looking forward to the conversation", your body language will automatically change. Look forward to the occasion, to the new acquaintances and then you will also succeed in making small talk.
Tip 10: Show emotions
Introverted people in particular rarely show their feelings. However, even subtle reactions to what the other person is saying motivate them to continue. Adding some gestures and a smile to your own story makes it easier for the listener to follow the narrator.
The last of these small talk tips is probably the most difficult for introverts to implement. Start modestly with the GEGG formula (see box), follow it and you will find that family celebrations, networking events or waiting times in front of the elevator become more interesting, enjoyable and pleasant. Think about what good friendships or long-standing business relationships once began with small talk. Anyone who avoids small talk in silence is missing out on something, even if it's just a tip on where to get the best mulled wine in town.
The GEGG formula
- Giving - Attention
- Emotions - show joy
- Stories - Entertaining
- Commonalities - Interests
Author:
Susanne Abplanalp is Managing Director of Knigge Today. She organizes seminars on business etiquette, social skills and knowledge of human nature.
