Success impulse: Be less tolerant!

Shouldn't we be tolerant of others? Sure. But in leadership and personal relationships, there's another side to the coin: "You get in life what you tolerate."

This is an old and true wisdom. If you tolerate certain negative behaviors in others, you will get more of them in your life. Example: If you tolerate someone being consistently unpunctual, that person will continue to be unpunctual. And you will increasingly be surrounded by people who behave similarly. This is not about how you "educate" others, but about what you should allow into your life as a leader. Because if you tolerate too much negativity, you won't have room for the important things that move you forward.

"Where does the different tolerance thresholds of different people come from?" you may now ask. Well, like many things, this also comes to a large extent from the imprinting of our childhood. And like all these imprints, you can also specifically change this one in yourself. Here are three questions that you can use to influence your tolerance threshold:

1. "Where do I keep being too tolerant?"
   There are very different patterns of where you are too tolerant. It may be in certain behaviors with yourself. Or you may show too much tolerance in very specific situations with others. Or you are very tolerant of certain people, no matter what they do.
   The important first step is to identify where your different tolerance points occur.
2. "What are the negative consequences of this tolerance?"
   The point here is to realize what your high tolerance leads to in certain situations (see point 1). A good helpful question is: "What would happen if I were no longer so tolerant at this point?"
   Maybe you would have more time, be more productive, have fewer distractions, accomplish more, have more time for other people you care about, and so on.
   We often dramatically underestimate the negative consequences of too much tolerance.
3. "Where are my red lines?"
   In the third step, it is crucial that you make the decision in which places and with which people you no longer show tolerance.
   The important thing to remember is that being too tolerant not only harms you, but also those you are too tolerant of.
   For example, if you keep answering all the questions, you educate people not to think for themselves at all. That doesn't help anyone.

So, here you have three helpful questions that will help you achieve more and at the same time help others develop. And please remember: The line between too much and too little tolerance is relatively narrow.

Author:
Volkmar Völzke is a success maximizer, book author, consultant, coach, speaker.www.volkmarvoelzke.ch